Memoirs of a reasonable killer

Meet Guy. He’s charming, successful, and has excellent taste in everything from wine to murder victims.

For thirty-two years, Guy has perfected the art of being reasonable. He holds doors open, tips well, and has never once lost his temper in traffic. He’s also a serial killer with forty-seven confirmed kills and zero police suspicion—because unlike those sloppy amateurs cluttering up the news, Guy has standards.

His victims? Only those who truly deserve it. The pedophile who thought chat rooms were hunting grounds. The middle manager who tormented minimum-wage employees. The influencer whose “pranks” left actual trauma in their wake. Guy doesn’t see himself as a monster—he’s more of a quality control specialist for the human race.

But when a pathetic wannabe killer called “The Sticker Slammer” starts getting media attention for his laughably incompetent crimes, Guy decides it’s time to set the record straight. Enter his memoirs: a darkly hilarious chronicle of a life lived by a very particular moral code, told by a man who genuinely believes he’s doing the world a favor.